Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Unstructured Archetypes: The Smurf

Papa Smurf
He is Papa Smurf. He is Brainy Smurf. He is Handy Smurf. She is Smurfette.

The Smurf is male except when she is Smurfette. Then she is female.

The Smurf is blue.

The Smurf is Three Apples High. The Smurf despises Standard Units of Measurement.

The Warlock hates the Smurf. The Warlock Covets the Smurf. The Warlock can neither destroy nor possess the Smurf. This pisses the Warlock off.

The Smurfs moral universe is monochromatic. It is neither black nor white. It is blue.

The Smurf has a Quirk. The Quirk defines the Smurf. Smurfette’s Quirk is that she is a Girl.

The Smurf has a Hat. The Smurf has Pants (or a Dress). The Smurf does not have a Shirt. The Smurf fears the Shirt.

The Cat chases the Smurf. The Cat cannot catch the Smurf. This creates a Dynamic Interaction.

The Smurf does not have sex, all rumors to the contrary. The Smurf does not have genitals. This frustrates the Smurf.

The Smurf is annoying.

The Smurf likes to sing. This makes the Smurf even more annoying.

The Smurf is imperiled. The Smurf’s life is a continual state of jeopardy, and yet the Smurf still sings. Why, for the love of God, won’t it stop singing?

The Smurf does not understand Adjectives and Nouns. It fears them and tries to control them by assimilating them. To the Smurf, all things are Smurf or Smurfy.

It is assumed that the Smurf tastes good. No one knows why.

The Smurf is not godless. The Smurf is godlessness. To gaze upon the Smurf is to gaze upon the Abyss.


magidin said...

Okay... This one was a joke, right?

Andrew Lias said...

I thought that the "silly" tag might be a clue. :-)

I never want to take myself too seriously.

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