It is a hungry gray cat. It is a white owl. It is a voyeuristic tabby. It is a bereaved walrus.
The Lolcat is usually a cat, but not always. It may also be a dog, a furry rodent, or an aquatic mammal. Any cute mammal may be a Lolcat.
Owls may also be Lolcats. They were grandfathered in because an owl
was instrumental in starting the Lolcat craze.
The Lolcat is social. It always greets you with a friendly "Oh hai!"
The Lolcat is polite. It always says "Plz", "KThx", and "Scuze Meh".
The Lolcat likes to help you. It may clean your dishes, fix your pillow, buff your floors, even repair your computer. You may decide that its help is more trouble than it's worth.
The Lolcat has a Flavor. The Lolcat also knows that you has a Flavor, and seeks to taste it.
The Lolcat has no respect for personal boundaries. It will often get In Ur Property. Then it will start Doin Thingz to it.
The Lolcat may has a Title which relates to its appearance, disposition, or occupation.
The Lolcat can see Invisible objects and will often make use of them.
If a Lolcat is a cat, it has a Quest to find Cheezburgers. If a Lolcat is an aquatic mammal of any kind, it has a Quest to recover its Stolen Bucket. No other type of Lolcat has a Quest.
The Lolcat has Idiosyncratic Conjugation.
The Lolcat's favorite day is Caturday.
Beware a staring Lolcat. Its stare is a warning that It Is Not Amused. If you anger a Lolcat, you will soon need medical "Halp".
This article was contributed by Rob Berry. Rob is a programmer who lives in Hilliard, Ohio with his wife and three sons. He epitomizes the archetype of The Geek.