Unstructured Archetypes: The Warrior

He is Achilles. He is Hercules. He is Conan. He is Red Sonja.

He is a man. Even when he is a woman, he is really a man.

He lives to fight. Combat defines him. He can go on Quests, but for him the point of a Quest is the combat to be had on the way to the Goal.

His moral universe is simple and monochromatic; however, instead of seeing the world as divided between Good and Evil, he sees it in terms of Friend and Foe.

If you are his Friend, he will love you unconditionally. If you are his Foe, he will hate you unconditionally. There is no middle ground. If you are neither Friend nor Foe, you are basically invisible to him.

The Warrior is a killer. He sees no moral conflict in killing a Foe. Leaving a Foe alive is a moral failing.

He is basically a good person but can do Bad Things.

The Warrior will sometimes kill Friends or Innocents. This will only happen as a result of rage or drunkenness. When it does happen, he will be regretful and repentant. He will need to go on a quest for Redemption. This Quest will require him to kill lots of Foes.

The Warrior does not have a One True Love. To the extent he thinks about women at all, it is as conquests or rewards for conquests.

He likes sex, especially when it takes the form of wenching. He is not, however, kinky. He prefers straightforward copulations.

The Warrior will never Put Down his Sword. He can only Die in Combat. The thought of dying in bed is shameful to him.

He doesn’t trust intellect. The solution to all problems is a sufficient quantity of force. His specialty is jamming square pegs into round holes.

He probably believes in God but doesn’t really care what God thinks.

Bat Boy, RIP

I have never approved on magazines like The National Enquirer or The Sun. I've always considered them to be exercises in tawdriness; deliberate appeals to that which is the basest part of our nature. That said, I have always been fond of The Weekly World News. Although it shared tabloid space with those other magazines, I always considered it to be a self-aware parody of those other magazines.

I don't think that the editors of the WWN ever expected people to believe that Bat Boy was alive and well, or that Ross Perot was meeting with aliens, or that Dick Cheney was a robot (okay, maybe the last). The WWN's goal was outlandishness and it did its job well. That said, one thing I especially liked is that some small percentage of their stories would be legitimate, albeit weird (and usually spun in a way to make them weirder) so it was always a challenge to distinguish between the genuine and the faux lunacy.

I sometimes wondered what it would be like to live in that hallucinatory parallel world that it depicted: a place where toasters could be possessed by the souls of the departed, a place where arctic bore holes could pierce the very bowels of hell, a place where zombies formed labor unions. I even toyed with the idea of using it as source-material for an X-Files on steroids RPG game.

I am sad to report that the Weekly World News is soon to be no more. Readership has been declining for years now (exacerbated by a change in owners and editorial direction) and the publishers have decided to pull the plug. The last issue will be printed on August the 27th. I hope it'll have a Bat Boy headline.

Steve, Don't Eat It!

I have, in my time, eaten a few exotic things. I have had chicken feet and frogs legs, snake, crickets and have even supped of the delicacy called Bird's Nest Soup (now with genuine swallow spittle). Never the less, there are people in this world who make my culinary adventures seem about as daring as putting hot sauce on a California roll.

Steve, Don't Eat It! is a semi-regular feature of The Sneeze. The eponymous Steve dares to eat things that most people would only call food for lack of a better categorization. His efforts include everything from pickled pork rinds to Beggin' Strips (in the form factor of a Beggin', lettuce and tomato sandwich). He then provides a pithy review of the experience with such comments as

Not unlike Michael Jackson, these harmless soybeans had undergone some kind of hideous transformation. They were now a freakish version of their former selves. (Which, coincidentally, should also be kept away from your children.)

Be forewarned that Steve's descriptive skills are such that you may well find yourself experiencing sympathetic nausea.

Unstructured Archetypes: The Detective

He is Adrian Monk. He is Sam Spade. He is William of Baskerville . He is The Question.

He can be a woman, but is usually a man.

The Detective’s life is defined by Quests that take the form of a mystery.

Unlike a normal Quest, which is to acquire Something or to defeat a Villain, a mystery is a Quest where a Puzzle needs to be solved. To be sure, the solution of the puzzle will often be the fulcrum of the villain's defeat.

The Detective’s moral universe is stark but complex. Good and Evil are distinct but telling one from the other is difficult.

He is vulnerable to the Femme Fatale. He is prone to mistake her for his One True Love.

On those rare occasions where he does find his One True Love, she will inevitably be killed. He will then avenge her.

Unlike other Heroes, the Detective can have many One True Loves.

Not all Detectives are detectives, nor are all detectives Detectives.

Neither Batman nor Sherlock Holmes are Detectives. They are Competent Men.

The Detective is fallible. He can be misled and deceived. He can also fail to get the bad guy. Alone among Heroes, he can remain a Hero even when the Villain wins – at least for the moment.

His life is tragic. It is defined by his mistakes and his losses and much as by his successes.

His friends tend to die. Never the less, those friends he has are loyal to him.

His greatest weapons are his wits and his luck. When things are at their worst, he’s prone to have a Stroke of Luck, often as a result of Thinking on his Feet.

He is street smart. He may also be educated but his most critical skills are being able to judge others, to spot inconsistencies, and to see through deceptions.

He can usually fight but he isn’t a warrior, much less a soldier.

He is lonely.

He is often an atheist although he wishes that there were a God. Above all else, he believes in Justice and despairs of ever finding it.

Unstructured Fractals

There is never a wrong time for fractals, and Fractal World Gallery is your go to place for best fractals on the market.

They make great anniversary gifts, you know.

Drive Fast

Just for the record, I'm embedding this clip specifically to irritate my girlfriend, who is a NASCAR fan.

I love you honey!

Unstructured Archetypes: The Special Boy

He is Arthur. He is Luke Skywalker. He is Harry Potter.

The Special Boy is always a boy. There are no Special Girls. The nearest female Archetype is the Secret Princess.

The Special Boy does not know he is a Special Boy.

The Special Boy is probably an orphan. It’s a safe bet that his parents were killed, perhaps right in front of him.

The Special Boy has a birthright. He is Special from the moment he is conceived. He is better than everyone around him.

The Special Boy is raised in Lowly Circumstances. He is usually at the bottom of the social order and is even looked down upon by those who share his social status.

No one who doesn’t know he is Special thinks that there’s anything special about him. Most people think that he’s stupid and weak.

More often than not, he’s picked on and bullied.

The Special Boy only learns that he is Special when he has an Encounter with Destiny.

The Special Boy does not try to find his Destiny. His Destiny finds him.

He is virtuous. He exhibits his virtues even before his Destiny is revealed.

Before the story is over, the Special Boy will be acknowledged and acclaimed. Those who mistreated him will feel bad about it. If they apologize, he will forgive them.

The Special Boy is defined by his Destiny. Often his Destiny will take the form of a Cryptic Prophecy.

Once he has had his Encounter with Destiny, the Special Boy will find a Mentor. His Mentor will serve as his surrogate Father. Unlike the real Father, the Mentor will never be distant or overly stern.

The Special Boy will grow up to be a Hero. Most of the heroic archetypes are open to him. The Special Boy will never grow up to be a Villain or an Everyman, although he may have Lapses.

Sooner or later, the Special Boy will experience a Rite of Passage. The Encounter with Destiny may be the Rite, or the Rite might be delayed (possibly taking the form of Defeating the Villain).

Until the Special Boy has had his Rite of Passage, he will be subject to doubts and may even Question his Faith. Once the Rite has happened, this is no longer a risk.

If the Villain killed the Special Boy’s parents, he will need to avenge their deaths, even if he never knew them.

The Special Boy can have a One True Love but he may not consummate that love until he Becomes a Man. Any displays of affection must be basically chaste.

The Special Boy believes in God.

Unstructured Poems and the Way of the Dodo

I have decided that this is going to be the last week that Unstructured Musing's sister site, Unstructured Poems, is going to be online.

The reasons for this are two fold:

1) I created Unstructured Poems at a time when I honestly thought that I could maintain two blogs. As it happens, even keeping one blog running can be an exhausting chore and two blogs, even when the second blog is half a blog, has simply been too much for me.

2) The main reason that I created it was to have a single place where all of my online poems could be read. With the addition of post labels, that's really no longer an issue since you can always just click on the Poem tag to see the whole list.

To be sure, I could leave the site up but I really hate the notion of perpetuating it as a mausoleum; I think that it's better to give it a dignified burial.

I'll leave it up until next Saturday just in case you'd like to visit the patient one last time before I pull the plug.

Unstructured Tesla

If there is anything that defines techno-cool more than a tesla coil being made to play music, I do not know what it is.

More information here.

Unstructured Archetypes: The One True Love

She is Maid Marian. She is Penelope. She is Princess Buttercup.

The One True Love is invariably a woman. The nearest archetypal equivalent is Prince Charming.

The One True Love is virginal. Only the Hero can consummate her love.

She may be a low-born woman but she can never, ever be a Fallen Woman.

She does not crave sex. She is more than happy to provide sex to the Hero (once he has Proven Himself and only within the Proper Context), but sex isn’t her goal.

She does not have sex on-screen (or on the page). It is assumed that she has orgasms but that is not to be spoken of.

She is decidedly not kinky. It can be assumed that the One True Love prefers the One True Position.

Although she usually experiences Love at First Sight upon seeing the Hero, her love must, never the less, be won through adversity and peril.

She is vulnerable. She can be killed. If she is killed, she will be avenged. Avenging her will always be the Hero’s first priority.

The Hero will always be faithful to her (in heart if not in body) unless she Lapses and becomes a Sinful Woman, in which case he will have the option of finding his Other One True Love.

The Villain will often crave her. If he does, his goal will be to Ravish her. If the Villain succeeds, the ravishment will be fatal so that the Hero can avenge her. No One True Love ever survives being ravished.

If she survives and the Hero Puts Down his Sword, she will birth him at least one son. This is an implicit part of living Happily Ever After.

The One True Love is never barren.

If she has children, she will become a Good Mother. This does not negate her status as the One True Love.

The Villain may imprison her. If this happens, she will need to be Rescued. Only the Hero can Rescue her. He must do so before she is ravished.

If she falls ill – usually because she has been cursed or poisoned – the Hero will need to take up a Quest to Find a Remedy. She will always be cured of her illness, but only in the Nick of Time.

If the hero has Loved Another, she will fulfill the role of the Other One True Love. She will not question the Hero’s love for her, nor attempted to denigrate his previous love. Regardless, she, herself, may never take another lover without become a Sinful Woman, even if the Hero chooses to leave her.

The Hero's love for The Other One True Love will never be as deep as for the One True Love, but it will be strong enough.

Her only defense against harm is her virtue. If she remains virtuous, she may be protected from Evil (or may not, in which case the Hero has to avenge her); however, if her virtue lapses, she is invariably doomed to suffer and probably die.

If her virtue lapses, her only hope is to Repent of Her Sinfulness. If she repents, she may be saved but she will never again be the One True Love.

She believes in God and is a godly woman.

Unstructured Elven

A long while back, Elijah Wood was doing an interview on the Daily Show to promote The Fellowship of the Ring. During the interview, he mentioned that he, and the other nine members of the fellowship cast, had all gone out and gotten tattoos of the numeral nine... in elvish. At the time I thought that was just a little bit strange but, in retrospect, I should have realized that there is a reasonably significant demand for Elvish tattoos.

Of course, if one is intent on demonstrating that they are way more geeky than those stupid Klingon poseurs, you can't just run out and get a bunch of random gibberish stamped on your tramp. On no, you must do it properly!

A good place to start would be to find out what your Evlish name is (in my case, that would be Suiadan), but that's only the first step. Once you have your name, you need to know how to write it in Elvish script, bearing in mind that there are several dialects of Elvish as well as numerous calligraphic scripts that you can choose from. (If this intimidates you, you could always cheat with a bit of software.)

This may seem like a lot of effort but if you are a True Tolkien Geek, this will absolutely and permanently establish your Elf Cred. Who knows, you might even meet someone who shares your passion which would mean that you'd eventually need to send out Elvish wedding invitations.

Photonic Graffiti

Making art with a source of light and a long exposure has a respectable lineage. Even Pablo Picasso was known to partake of the format.

Here is a stunning collection of "graffiti" that uses this technique.

Unstructured Apollo

Has anyone ever noticed the irony of naming the moon landing program after a sun god? Really, shouldn't it have been the Selene program? I blame the Patriarchy.

In any case, all the photos taken during the Apollo program are being digitally scanned in ultra-high resolution and being made available to the public. This is great news for space geeks, everywhere.

Unstructured Archetypes: The Paladin

He is Luke Skywalker. He is Galahad. He is Yojimbo. He is Superman.

He is a man. In principle, he could be a woman, but this never seems to actually happen.

His virtue is his greatest asset. The Villain may be smarter, wealthier, more powerful, but he will always defeat the Villain because of his innate goodness.

He is spiritual. He is also a warrior.

He is not a sexual being. He values love (and may have a One True Love), but does not put any value on carnality. His ideal love is unrequited. If he does have sex, it is only so that he may have a son to take his place.

He is on a Quest. He may not Put Down the Sword until the Quest is complete.

Once he Puts Down the Sword, he may rest, but there is always the possibility that he may need to Pick Up the Sword again.

He will avenge his comrades but he will not take vengeance. He gains no joy in defeating the Villain. It is simply a moral necessity.

He is a protector of the weak. He may suffer insults but he will never stand for allowing those who are defenseless to be bullied or terrorized. Protecting the weak is the only thing that can detour him from his Quest… but only for a time.

The Quest is his First Love. He may also have a One True Love, but she can not prevent him from Taking up the Sword and Going on a Quest.

He is holy, but he will deny this.

He can be betrayed but never corrupted. Those who become corrupted were only ever False Paladins. This is not a circular observation. The virtues of a True Paladin are innate and incorruptible.

A Paladin can become Lost. He may become confused by evil and lose his way. If this happens, he will need to take a side-quest to redeem himself. Only then can he continue his Quest. Never the less, he remains incorrupt.

His moral universe is stark and simple. He believes in Good and Evil and he knows the difference between them.

Honor is the highest virtue. Without honor, there is no virtue.

He will not take advantage of his enemy’s weaknesses. He will meet his foes only in honorable combat. The notion of sneaking around and stabbing his enemies while they are off-guard is repugnant to him.

He is a soldier and he may fight in battles and in defense of his Liege but, ultimately, he Fights Alone.

It is likely that he has a Mentor. In some rare cases, he will have more than one.

His primary source of education is the Spiritual Quest. It is far more important that he learns how to be virtuous than it is that he learns to be lettered. He values wisdom above knowledge.

He knows God to exist but he does not proselytize. He leads by example.

Unsolicited Musings

It would seem that my series of archetype posts has been reasonably popular. A number of people have contacted me asking me if I'd be willing to accept submissions for further archetypes entries. The answer to that is a definite yes.

If you want to do an archetype write-up, email me with your idea before you start writing it up. I have a number of entries already in the queue and I would like to avoid duplication. If you would like, I'll be happy to suggest one. Bear in mind that archetypes aren't limited to people. An archetype can be a place, a thing, a creature, an event, or even an abstraction. The main criteria for something being an archetype is that it is a constant type that repeats itself in a recognizable way over a broad range of works.

Try, to the best of your ability, to follow the style that I've been laying out. In particular, I would encourage you to use relatively short, declarative statements.

Once you have it written, send me a draft. I will respond with an edited draft where I may reorder and even rewrite some of what you have written (however, you have the final verdict on what gets published since your name is going to be on it). Let me know if you have a preferred image to go along with it and include a brief biographical blurb about yourself that I can include at the end of your article.

Likewise, if you have a non-archetype essay you'd like to submit, send me an email and tell me what you'd like to write about. Unstructured Musings is meant to be an omnibus so I'm always happy to have another point of view to offer.