Dodge Ovaries

Once you see it, it's difficult not to see it. Try not to giggle the next time you see a Dodge truck.

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Found on TruckBlog.com

Unstructured Showdown

If you've ever been a teenage boy, you've doubtless pondered the sort of question where you ask who would win, Superman vs. Hulk, or Batman vs. Spiderman, or Optimus Prime vs. the big robot from Voltron (and so forth and so on).

The Ultimate Showdown is a flash animation, set to a very catchy song, that takes that line of thought to its ultimate conclusion.

The "History" of Science

A rather snarky "history" of science.

(Really) Unstructured Sentence

I trust that you've already seen the video of that poor Miss Teen USA contestant from South Carolina who floundered her way through a flummoxed monological thicket when asked her thoughts on why Americans can't seem to find the U.S. on a map. Here is Jimmy Kimmel's explanation of what she was trying to say.

Trapped in a Drive Thru

The concert was great.

In case you're in need of an Al fix, here's the video of Trapped in a Drive Thru which is, of course, the parody of R. Kelly's Trapped in a Closet.

Unstructured Ettiquette

Once upon a time, when I was working at mail order company, my brain stumbled between the phrases "Hello, may I help you" and "Hello, may I put you on hold". What actually came out of my mouth was, "Hello, may I hold you?"

Oh, we all know how to say please and thank you and we may even know which side of the plate the knife and the fork go on, but does anyone ever offer any practical ettiquette advice for dealing with the truly awkward situations that life often finds us in? Well, fear not, The Awkwardness Survival Guide is on the case!

The guide offers advice ranging from the embarrassment of using an inappropriate term of endearment with your mother to how to handle your bewilderment when confronted with an ethnic handshake.

Take heart, fellow traveler; help is but a mouse-click away.

Unfortunate Proximity

Location, location, location!

"You don't know the history of mind melds! I know the history of mind melds!"

Warning: you are about to read an uber-geeky post.

If you remember the original series, you may recall one character who was horribly disfigured and consigned to a life-support wheelchair where he was limited to beeping out yes and no answers to questions. That was the character of Captain Christopher Pike and he was featured in one of the most beloved episodes entitled The Menagerie.

In any case, there's a rumor that J.J. Abrams (of Lost fame) would like Tom Cruise to play Captain Christopher Pike in the upcoming Star Trek movie. This has caused a great deal of wailing and kvetching in the geek community, which brings us to:

The Top Ten List of Actual Responses to the Cruise-as-Pike Rumor (as Seen on Digg)

10. The movie is already destined to bomb, are they looking for a guarantee?

9. Is he going to act in the movie or just be a fact checking resource for space travel and alien accuracy?

8. I like the idea only if it involves the older Captain Pike in his vegetative state[...]. In this case, Tom Cruise is perfect for the part!

7. To boldly go where no movie should ever have gone.

6. Only if he's wearing a red shirt.

5. When are the Jews going to take Hollywood back from the Scientologists?

4. Captain, Scientology is a scam and a cult. You are being highly illogical.

3. Beep Beep! ... Beep Beep!

2. My buddies didn't die face down in the mud for this.

And the number one comment is... [drumroll]

1. TOMMMMMMMMM!!!

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Comments courtesy of the Digg user community. List courtesy of Rob Berry.

Unstructured Chicken and Waffles

The movie Tapeheads was largely unremarkable with the single, but fantastic, exception of this scene which takes the form of a rapping commercial for "Roscoe's House of Chicken 'N' Waffles".

Curiously, there really is a Roscoe's in SoCal and it is, apparently, a fairly popular place to go. This factoid blows my mind.

Unstructured Inspiration

When I write an essay, such as the recent one on Omnipresence, I like to think that I'm inspiring my readers in some way. Mind you, I wasn't expecting the inspiration to take quite this form.

(LOLGod compliments of Rob Berry)

Beer Activated Girl

With a title like Beer Activated Girl, you'd think that this parody of Coin Activated Boy would be utterly misogynistic but it actually manages to be rather sweet in an odd sort of way. Bonus points for using a cute, plus-sized model.

Maths

I've long had a love/hate relationship with mathematics. On the one hand, I love the elegance and the theory. On the other hand, I always had the hardest time with the practice of it. I was just never very good at working my way through the problems in the necessary manner.

This little video helps me not at all (but it is quite funny).

A Dork Tale

It came to pass, one day, that the Lord of Dorkness, who was having a horrible snit, called together his three favored minions.

"Attend to me, O minions," said the Dork Lord, "for we have a grave situation. Sir Mix-a-Lot's accursed song, Baby Got Back, is still cool!"

His minions gasped and exclaimed, "But how can that be? Did we not commission a Latin version to rob it of its coolness?"

"Alas, our plan has backfired. People are enjoying the Latin version as hip, post-ironic geek chic!

"Oh, the post-irony!," they cried.

There was a great wailing and gnashing of braces and retainers, then, but the Dork One held up his hand and said, "Enough! We must try again. Minion 1, what do you suggest?"

Minion 1 pushed up his thick rimmed glasses by the masking tape that bound the cloven halves of it together and said, "Let us create a new version. A version sung by a talentless white guy with a ridiculous street name."

"Ah yes," said the Lord of Dorkness, "the Vanilla Ice gambit. This is good, but it is not enough. Minion 2, speak!"

Minion 2 fidgited with his slide rule for a minute before saying, "We must also make a video. A bad video with horrible production value."

"This, too, is good, but not good enough. What of you, Minion 3?"

Minion 3, who was called the Anti-Fonzie, straightened his bow tie and took a hit from his inhaler as he thought deeply. Finally he spoke and said, "My Lord, we must change the song. We must remove all traces of fun and sexiness from it. Let us make it wholesome, and not merely wholesome, but a song about religious values. Let us turn it into a Christian rap song about..."

He paused and pondered.

"Let us make it about reading the Bible!"

The Dork Lord chuckle/snorted and said, "My true and faithful servants, you have pleased me well. Let us create this uncool thing. We shall call it Baby Got Book".

And so it came to be.

Llama!

I was hoping to have the evaluation of Munich up, tonight, but I'm just not feeling well enough to focus on that so, instead, here's a link to a funny song/slide-show about llamas. Enjoy.

Whaa...?

What the headline said: "Bush Plan Gets Double Blow"

What I read: "Bush Plans to Get Double Blow"

For a second I thought that the president was really making plans to surpass Clinton's legacy.

Whale Go Boom

Today I'd thought I'd bring out an internet classic.

Back in 1970 a whale beached itself on the Oregon coast. The Oregon Highway Division, which at that time was in charge of beaches as well, decided — unwisely — that the best way to dispose of the carcass was to blow it up. The resulting effort blew enormous chunks of flesh over a quarter mile radius, including one hunk that crushed a car.

For a long time this story was considered an urban legend until video of a news report covering the explosion surfaced on the internet in the early 90's. When the World Wide Wed started to take off (circa 1994) this was one of the first popular web memes.

The link, below, connects to a page of video captures (in various bandwidths) of the event. It really does need to be seen to be believed.