On Elves and Oafs

When we think about elves we tend to think of them as graceful and (generally) benevolent beings (either that or as Santa's little helpers... but I think those twerps are more closely related to leprechauns).

The latest update to Michael Quinion's World Wide Words came as something of a shocker to me. It turns out that word "elf" is closely related to the word "oaf", which seems to be the antithesis of what elves are supposed to be like! How can this be.

Well, elves didn't always have the benevolent associations that they do in the modern era. Originally, elves were thought of as devious, and often dangerous, beings who were best avoided, nor were they imagined to be creatures of great beauty. In fact, elfs [sic] and goblins were very nearly considered to be synonymous. An oaf was, in fact, the name used to describe a changeling, which is to say an elf's child left in place of a human child. An oaf has the distinguishing characteristic of being uglier and stupider than a normal child.

So where did our modern notion of elves [again, sic] as quasi-divine beings come from? In a word, Tolkien. Tolkien can be thought of as a one-man PR firm for the race. The first thing he did was to change the plural from elfs to elves, which rolls off the tongue much more gracefully. He then created an elaborate mythology and history which gave them the noble bearing that we now assume they possess. Some of the original flavor of elves was preserved in the form of the Orcs which are, in his books, elves that had been corrupted and debased.

Because of Tolkien's influence over modern fantasy (an influence that didn't really take hold until the 60's, which is about the time that the fantasy market exploded into its own genre), the popular conception of elves has been thoroughly altered. It is with some irony that any modern fantasy author that wanted to present a more authentic conception of elves would have to take deliberate pains to overcome their reader's modernist preconceptions. In other words, most people would find "real" elfs to be just a bit too unbelievable.

Hey Diddle Diddle

They gather together,
Even after all these years,
Just to play poker,
Just to talk,
Just to remember
And just to forget.

The cow, as always,
Talks about her proud leap.
She doesn’t talk about
How she broke her legs,
How she crushed her ribs,
Or about the fact
That she’s been on a respirator
Ever since that day.

The cat plays a quite tune
Full of such sorrow
That it strains the strings
To their very guts.
He hasn’t always been
Such a melancholy beast.

They wonder what happened
To the dish and the spoon.
They’ve heard some ugly rumors
About a nasty divorce,
But it’s hard to believe them.
There are always these stories
When there’s a mixed marriage.

The little dog still laughs,
Even if his laughter
Contains the ghost of wheeze.
Still, all in all,
He’s probably come out the best:
He’s always been
What he’s always been --
Just a little dog in a big world.

They each take another sip
From their beers.