On Elves and Oafs

When we think about elves we tend to think of them as graceful and (generally) benevolent beings (either that or as Santa's little helpers... but I think those twerps are more closely related to leprechauns).

The latest update to Michael Quinion's World Wide Words came as something of a shocker to me. It turns out that word "elf" is closely related to the word "oaf", which seems to be the antithesis of what elves are supposed to be like! How can this be.

Well, elves didn't always have the benevolent associations that they do in the modern era. Originally, elves were thought of as devious, and often dangerous, beings who were best avoided, nor were they imagined to be creatures of great beauty. In fact, elfs [sic] and goblins were very nearly considered to be synonymous. An oaf was, in fact, the name used to describe a changeling, which is to say an elf's child left in place of a human child. An oaf has the distinguishing characteristic of being uglier and stupider than a normal child.

So where did our modern notion of elves [again, sic] as quasi-divine beings come from? In a word, Tolkien. Tolkien can be thought of as a one-man PR firm for the race. The first thing he did was to change the plural from elfs to elves, which rolls off the tongue much more gracefully. He then created an elaborate mythology and history which gave them the noble bearing that we now assume they possess. Some of the original flavor of elves was preserved in the form of the Orcs which are, in his books, elves that had been corrupted and debased.

Because of Tolkien's influence over modern fantasy (an influence that didn't really take hold until the 60's, which is about the time that the fantasy market exploded into its own genre), the popular conception of elves has been thoroughly altered. It is with some irony that any modern fantasy author that wanted to present a more authentic conception of elves would have to take deliberate pains to overcome their reader's modernist preconceptions. In other words, most people would find "real" elfs to be just a bit too unbelievable.

Helen

Helen,
Late of Troy,

Sitting at her vanity
Besieged by time's armada

Hector dead
Paris dead

Hope
Dead, dismembered, and pyred

Lips cracked
Breasts heavy and sagging

Her eyes:
Eternal and defiant

---

Painting by Dante Gabriel Rossetti

The Gift of Fire

They were so cold,
But the gods didn't care.

They told me that
I should have given them more hair.

If it was up to them,
I should have made them
Walk on all fours.
I should have made their tongues
Thick and inarticulate.
I should have made them beasts.

It bothered the gods
That they could speak,
That they could shout,
That they could curse the gods.

Divine entities,
As a whole,
Are very superstitious beings.

Having overthrown their own creators,
The gods did not want to be overthrown
By mine.

I gave them fire.
I freely admit that I stole it
And no fearsome, rending vulture
Will cause me to regret this.

The gods have cursed them with perils
And forced obedience upon them,

But they still have fire
And I know that, someday,
They will learn
That even gods can burn.

Tiamat

I caught the edge of the world
In my mouth

Slicing it with my incisors
Grinding it against my molars

Tumbling young civilizations
Into that oceanless sea

Falling, flailing bodies
Pattered against my lips
Like flecks of gold

As I enjoyed my mid-morning aperitif
Of mayhem and misery

Aesir

I ran into the Aesir,
Down at the grocery store.

They were in the liquor section
Looking for a case of mead.

(They eventually settled on
Some generic factory beer)

I asked them how they were.

Odin shrugged and said
That he'd just sold his Ravens
To a high bidder, online.

Thor said that he was
Working in construction
Where there's always a place
For those who can handle
A hammer.

Loki, as usual, was elusive
But I got the feeling
That he was looking for something
Out in Hollywood.

It's a good place
For tricksters and myths.

I told them that it had been too long,
That they should call me,
(They won't)
That we should get together
(We won't).

We all knew that we wouldn't.

I said my goodbyes
As they wandered on over
To the meat and dairy section
Looking for some fresh goat flesh.